Menna-isms

Many have long felt that Coach Menna should be ranked with Casey Stengel and Yogi Berra as an author of memorable sayings.

On basketball

• Notice how when I dribble the ball, my fingers never leave my hands.

On baseball

• When fielding a ground ball, keep your knees between your legs.
• A ground ball is a ball that bounces before it hits the ground

I never had Coach Menna for gym at Scarsdale High School in the early 1970's. Even so, I remember his (attributed) quotes and I don't remember the names of my own gym teachers.

Menna-isms are different from Yogi-isms or Stengel-isms and nothing like Goldwyn-isms. Menna-isms were, in fact, good sports advice--or at least sort of made sense in context. Seriously, no matter how you say it, when you're dribbling, your want your fingers to be part of the unit that is your hand rather than doing their own thing. And I've never had to look over my shoulder at a missed grounder when I've told myself to keep my knees between my legs. And, for goodness' sake, if you're going to field a grounder, wait till it hits the ground.

Maybe Coach Menna never said these things and we kids were just callous callow youth. Nonetheless, in 2004, these Menna-isms appeared nowhere on the web. I had expected that some of these would appear in joke lists, but no. I realized that this wisdom--wherever it came from--would disappear unless someone became the Alan Lomax of Menna-isms.

The following were also attributed to Coach Menna, but aren't such good sports advice.

• Pair up into groups of three

This is commonly attributed to Bill Peterson, Football Coach of Florida State University until 1970. It is the only Menna-ism that I also found on the web. Coach Peterson's is usually quoted, "Pair up in groups of three and then line up in a circle." Coach Menna's line was always quoted with "into groups of three" rather than "in groups of three."

• Run across the field, but don't step on the grass.
  (referring to newly-seeded areas).
  
• Half of you there, half of you over there, and the rest of you come with me.
  
• Son, I don't like your aptitude.
  
• Coach Menna: Lawrence Sachs.
  Larry:               Here.
  Coach Menna: Do you have a brother named Larry?

One humorous note: My Google search for "your knees between your legs" yielded no matches out of 4,300,000,000 pages in April 2004. A search a few months earlier found one hit. A pregnancy advice page suggested that posture for dizzy mothers-to-be. I emailed the webkeeper and, apparently, she corrected that impossible wording. A Google search omitting the first "your" yielded 8 hits if Google's "safe search" was on--or 4,700 if not.

Please email with additional Menna-isms, regardless of who said them.

Dan Axtell
Westminster, Vermont
danaxtell@ 
danaxtell.com

Relevant links:

• Google search for Yogi-isms
• Google search for Stengel-isms
• Google search for Goldwyn-isms
• Things People Said website encompassing all three and more